|
ENG 131, CREATIVE WRITING
|
|
|
What to notice:
2. Notice that there are no stage directions, no props--just conversation. I've assigned myself a situation--a dramatic moment--and a problem that needs to be solved. The conversation is kept short and stays on target. 3. No one makes a major "speech." Rather, I've tried to keep the conversation realistic, but I would hope, not boring. I know I've let the Son repeat himself. I did that for a reason--the same reason I kept the conversation itself somewhat "simple." That is because one of your objectives--other than to entertain the reader/audience--is to create clear characters. Here I am trying to establish a young child's voice. 4. I'd be interested in how old (or young) you think the son is. I had a particular age in mind. When you send each other scripts, one of the things I'm asking you to do is tell the author who the characters are. Summarize them, describing their major personality traits or facts you collected about them. Good dialog results in good characterization! 5. Setting the names in caps and the dialog right under it is a standard way to type up a script. Second best would be to like so: FATHER: Come over here. ... THE GLUE INCIDENT FATHER Come over here. What is this? Did you put glue all over the car? No. FATHER What is this, then. Look at it. Elmer’s Glue spots everywhere. SON I didn’t do it. FATHER Oh my God. What a mess. They’ve dried onto the paint. SON I didn’t do it. FATHER
Then who did? SON I don’t know. FATHER When you asked if you could play with the bottle of glue I said yes. SON I made pictures on the driveway. FATHER Well, that’s okay. I said you could. SON Do you like them? That one is a cat. FATHER It’s funny looking. SON This one is a big mouse. FATHER Yes, I like it. But, you put glue spots all over the our beautiful new car. SON No, I didn’t. FATHER Remember how I told you, you have to tell the truth? SON Yes. FATHER Even if you are scared to, it’s better to tell the truth. SON I’m telling the truth. FATHER Because if you tell lies and you get caught lying then no one will ever believe you anymore. SON Why won’t they believe you? Because once they know you lied, they are never sure after that if you are telling the truth again. SON Why not? How would I know if I could trust you. You have to tell the truth now. SON I did. FATHER What do you mean you did? Look at this mess. SON So? So? So! Were you playing with a bottle of glue? Yes. FATHER And what are these spots all over the car? Maybe they're bird poop. FATHER It’s not bird poop. It’s Elmer’s Glue. Who else was
out here playing with a bottle of Elmer’s Glue? I don’t know. FATHER It had to be you. SON Did you see me? No, I didn’t see you. I said you could go out and make pictures on the driveway with the bottle of glue. That’s okay. When it rains it can wash away. SON Do you like my pictures? FATHER Yes, I do. But that’s not the point. Listen, I won’t be angry at you if you tell me the truth. Just admit you made the glue spots on the car. Oh my God, look at this mess. I don’t know how we can get these off without ruining the finish. I didn’t do it. FATHER How can you say that? No one else could have done this except you. SON Can I go inside? I’m hot. FATHER Of course you’re hot. The sun is very hot and it’s baked this glue right onto the beautiful red paint. SON Maybe it can wash off. Can I squirt it with the hose? FATHER Did you put this glue on our new car? SON No. FATHER You have to tell the truth. SON Can I play with the hose? FATHER No. Go inside. And no TV until you tell me what really happened. SON Can I read my book? FATHER Just tell me the truth and everything will be okay. SON I’m going in to read my book. FATHER I don’t believe it. Oh my God, what a mess. I don’t even want to try to wash this off. It’s going to leave big spots on the finish. What a mess. SON I’m hungry. I’ll be inside. FATHER No, don’t go in yet. SON I’m tired. I want to go inside. FATHER Do you remember that story about George Washington they
told you at playschool? No. I guess so. FATHER About the cherry tree? George Washington chopped it down and when his father asked him “Did you chop down the cherry tree?” George said… SON I heard you telling Ma that was all just a story. FATHER It doesn’t matter if they made it up. The point is, George Washington said… SON
If they made up the story, is it a lie? No, that’s different. It was just a story to teach a lesson. SON What’s the difference between a story and a lie? FATHER
There’s a big difference. If you tell a lie you can get in a lot of trouble. What kind of trouble? Well, to begin with people may never believe you again if
they catch you lying. So?
Don’t you want me to believe you if you tell me things? Yes. FATHER And you know I won’t be angry if you tell me the truth. I would like to think you can come to me if ever you have a problem and just tell me. SON Okay. FATHER And I promise I won’t get angry. Just tell me what happened and maybe I can help. SON
Nothing happened.
I mean, if something happened. Like suppose you threw a rock and broke a window. SON
What if you do get angry? I promise I won’t. SON
How do you know? I promise. I will try not to get angry. SON
What if it’s so bad you do get angry? The point is, you have to tell the truth so people can
trust you.
Do you trust me?
Yes, I do. I didn’t put glue on the car. FATHER
Go inside. Go to your room. No TV, no playing until you tell the truth.
Did you see me put glue on the car? No. Then I didn’t do it. I’m going inside. I’m tired. When are we going to eat? |
|
Copyright (c) 2003-2008 Dr. David B. Axelrod
|